help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
