Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
