the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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