tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
