I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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