:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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