Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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