make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
