tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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