then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
