why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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