The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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