yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
