talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
