I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
