A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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