My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
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Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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