He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
