so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
