Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
