this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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