By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
