I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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