So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
