You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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