Fine. I'll sleep in my office
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
