After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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