it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize