Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
