We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
