The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
