i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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