Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
