My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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