Yo dont text me then not text me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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