do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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