wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
