And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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