if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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