she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
