I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
