so that wasnt chicken after all
Someone shit on the floor
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
