bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
