Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
your room smells of hookers.
And success
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
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But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
the raccoons are back...
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