I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
