just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
