If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
