i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
