Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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