She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
