Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
