yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
