i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
