I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
