what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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