Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
