no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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