Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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