I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
