worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
