you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize