i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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