I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
