I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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