you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
